Have you ever considered at one point during your struggles that you have set your goals and expectations too high? Despite that though, you still went on and continued your journey to complete it, thinking that accomplishing it will provide you the feeling of contentment and happiness?
I’m pretty sure we have all done this for several instances in our lives. I know I have.
I’ve always thought that when I was able to cross out the things in my list of goals that I would feel better about myself. I would feel happy, proud, and accomplished.
Don’t get me wrong, I did feel positive emotions about finishing tasks, it was just not as powerful as I thought it would be.
For example, I thought that the moment I become a manager of the company I worked for, I would feel great everyday as I wake up and I would continue doing the job I love.
I felt extremely bad when I thought I didn’t get the results I wanted. I felt like it was my fault for not giving enough, even though (at the time I did my tasks) I gave it my all. I attributed my failures to my unhappiness and eventually this took a toll on me, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
There were times when I felt miserable and I was hiding it through a mask that I didn’t let anyone see, so that I could try to convince myself that I could still be happy.
To make up for it, I kept on wanting more out of life, expecting more out of life. I went on and continued to add things to my list of goals because I kept hoping that it would give me a sense of greater satisfaction when I’m able to cross off items from my “list.”
I didn’t want to take a rest from my life ambitions.
I worked myself restlessly that it started to affect my whole wellbeing and I know that was no one else’s fault but my own. I considered this to be a wake-up call.
I take pride when everyone thinks that I’m extremely close to my family. When in reality, I barely see my mother. Although I still talk to her, it was not as much as I would hope it would be.
I started to distance myself away from everyone else including my family, so that I could continue working and believing that those things would make me happy and settled for a haven where I thought I was relaxed but it just elevated my exhaustion.
Then I started to realize…
That I wanted to start life anew. I wanted to be truly happy.
For me, that was my first step. Secondly, I decided to stop attributing my happiness to every single thing that I could cross off my list.
I started to contemplate on my decisions and what it has gotten me.
What I realized is that all I want in life is to be HAPPY.
That was my main goal right there.
I had lost track of that. I thought I was making myself happy by the number of things I accomplished in my life. I’ve put so much pressure on myself thinking that I would be happy if I did (a), I have (b), I finished (c).
Thinking about it made me feel how shallow or empty those goals were in reality. It was fun for a short while but it wasn’t what I was looking for in life.
All I have sacrificed was my own well-being and I wasn’t fooling myself for one more second.
I wanted to change that.
How am I able to do it, you ask?
Well I re-evaluated a lot of things. To be honest it was and it still is pretty scary for me to steer away from what I have been so used to doing for so many years now.
But first, I started by bringing myself back. For myself, for my family, and for my friends.
I stopped thinking that I need to stay ahead or at least on the same pace as my peers.
I started to think and actually believe, that not everything in my life has to be dictated by what society would consider normal or acceptable.
Although this shouldn’t be a standard for everyone. This may or may not apply to everyone, but it did to me.
What makes us happy may be entirely different from one another. But at the point of it all, if you feel consumed by the things that you think are important for you, try taking a step back and contemplating if this path is really what you want.
At the end of it all, do what makes you happy. Whether it’s the simple things in life or something much more than that, it doesn’t matter. As long as we know what truly makes us happy, we’ll have put less stress on our outlook on life that doesn’t make us exhausted by the time we’re in our 20s.
Enjoy life. It is and it will never be all butterflies and rainbows, but it’s up to us if that’s the way we would want to see the world.